16 december 2019
All original writing
2014, 2015, 2016,
2017, 2018, 2019
4. BIOPSY RESULT
Late August 2018. Ok let's cut to the chase. As I and they suspected, it's cancer.
Cate drove me again. Woke up this morning with the good ear blocked with wax which was probably an omen. Took 10 minutes out of a tight 'cups-
No traffic jams on the way in. Someone in the car park kindly donated a ticket with an hour left to go. Another omen?
Here's the chase. As I and they suspected, it's cancer.
Urology Specialist nurse. Long and detailed explanations of various aspects. Leaflets to take home and read etc. So . . . . two scans in the next week or so. CT scan and a bone scan to see whether it's spread. "When did you last have a PSA test?" I think about 10 years ago, "Oh they didn't do one before your biopsy then . . . . Have one after the scans, here's a blood form." Looked quite white, dry, nothing to do with moons and not at all congealed to me.
First, we'll start you on 'the gold standard' treatment but not till after your scans as that may affect the result. Hormone tablets. So I'm about to experience the male version of the women-
So I'm fully prepared, for the first time in my life, to be caring, have empathy for other people and make sure everybody's alright. At this present time in the UK I'm going to have my work cut out. Oh and be prepared to grow my hair long, check, put on make-
Why should I feel any different from the way I felt yesterday? Physically no reason. Mentally, because I know a bit more . . . . But not a huge amount has really changed has it. Except I'm still on the escalator when I was hoping to have got off it, and that escalator now seems to stretch quite a long way before it gets there. "Nothing you've done or not done." You can't change it so you've just gotta roll with it.
On the way home we headed for Topsham where we were held up for ages last week in the mother of all traffic jams. There were bunches of flowers tied to lamp posts. So you have to be grateful, don't you . . .